she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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