and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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