ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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