I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize