Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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