soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
