My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
