Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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