so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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