You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
