help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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