turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
A bitchslap is in order.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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