Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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