The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
