this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
