He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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