I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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