i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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