your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
porn star boner night. come get it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
