Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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