Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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