Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
