I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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