Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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