I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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