I hate all girls vehemently.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
