Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
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