Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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