my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize