i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize