we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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