Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
This house was built for laser tag.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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