He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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