That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
