My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
