My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
