How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
