hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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