My nipple is on Facebook.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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