Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
