I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Randomize
