Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
