So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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