hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
