Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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