I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Randomize
