is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
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I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
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drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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