It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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