So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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