i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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