just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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