if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
