I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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