Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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